5/12/2012 Sunshine on my shouldersRemember the John Denver song titled, "Sunshine on my Shoulders" [makes me happy]? I was thinking of the lyrics today and realizing that it's still true for me -- I love feeling the sun on my skin, baking in the healing heat. After all the controversy, it turns out that about 10 minutes a day of "unprotected" sun is actually quite good for us, producing much-needed vitamin D. After that, it's a good idea to slather up with sunscreen, but avoid any with the toxic stuff or with nano particles! So many things to think about :) But the most important is that it is good to spend a little time basking in the sunshine, if you are lucky enough to live in a place that it is abundant. If not, consider supplementing with vitamin D or buying a happy light such as the Verilux model. It is crucial to your overall health and well- being. Seriously. Just do it. And if you find yourself breaking into a chorus of the John Denver tune, well, so much the better! 5/8/2012 The Worry TreeOne of the things which helped me a great deal during the caregiving journey was to use my worry tree. Realizing that I needed a place and time to escape from worry, lest it weigh me down to the point of paralysis, I started a simple habit of "hanging" my worries on a tree outside my front door, each time I entered my home. It was completely optional as to whether or not I picked them up again on the way out. This accomplished several things: it kept my home as a pristine sanctuary where I could relax worry-free, it allowed me a respite and distance from my problems, even just symbolically, that paradoxically let me come up with solutions when my mind was not worrying the problem like a dog its bone. (I will admit that sometimes my subconcious kept working on the problem, even though I had given my conscious mind permission to stop.) The stepping back and releasing of the concern often made creative space in my brain or emotions to find a good solution. The other noticeable effect was that my problems didn't seem as big or as dire as they had when I hung them on the tree the day/night before. They sort of magically were put into perspective and so I often chose not to "pick them up" again. This is a very simple trick for shifting your perspective, but it is amazingly powerful, nonetheless. Try it.
Oh, the other consequence of doing this was that the tree started looking very pathetic. You may want to choose a plant or tree you don't like very much on which to dump your cares. Just goes to show that the mind is a very powerful force! 5/4/2012 IsolationI just read a blog post by Gail Sheehy, author, speaker, caregiver advocate, and general mover & shaker. Her book, Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidence, is featured on the Books Page of this website. Her post is titled, "What can bring caregivers out of the house before they go nuts?" Yes, the title caught my eye. It's a wonderful post about a newly formed Caregiver Coalition in Jacksonville, Florida, which recently had a huge Expo for the estimated 150,000 family caregivers in the city. It was a phenomenal success and the various agencies which form the Coalition are seeing how underserved this segment of the population actually is, and how starved for information. Sheehy's blog is calling us to action to form similar coalitions all over the country to support the 65 million caregivers -- yes, that number is right! And, the real consequences to the health, mental, physical & emotional, for these unpaid family caregivers is astronomical. She cites stress, anxiety, depression, alcohol & substance abuse, high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes, and the list is endless, as major issues for the 45-55 age group that forms the Boomers caregivers brigade.
I absolutely and heartily agree! Having experienced some of these problems first hand, and realizing how deep this need goes, and how many millions of people are affected, if we don't act now, and really grab this tiger by the tail, finding real, practical and accessible solutions, we are going to have a bunch of nutty, stressed out isolated folks on our hands! Check out the blog at her website: www.gailsheehy.com/blog/592/what-can-bring-caregivers-out-of-the-house-before-they-go-nuts- 5/3/2012 Music is Magic!I want to share with you an experience that touched me deeply and made me so much more aware of the power of music, both in caring for ourselves and our loved ones, and particularly in reaching those with illness that has taken them beyond the reach of words or other significant communication.
I am a singer, and often do programs in nursing homes or retirement centers. On one of these occasions, I noticed one of the residents had been wheeled in and her chair parked near me, but she was completely non-responsive, falling over to one side, head down and eyes closed through the whole first part of the program. I assumed that she wasn't really "there" and wasn't benefiting from the music. However, when I started to sing an old favorite hymn tune, "In the Garden", this woman straightened in her chair, lifted her head, opened her eyes and started to sing with me! This was such a remarkable transformation, that I was taken completely aback, and emotion choked me a bit as I grasped the implications. My assessment of her being "beyond" the activity and not present was completely wrong -- and not only did she participate, she also gave me a radiant smile as a reward! I have found this same pattern repeated over the years, though not as dramatically as this one time, but there is a very definite and strong connection in the brain to music and this is now being researched more thoroughly. In fact, with Alzheimer's, people who can no longer communicate at all verbally, can still often sing and remember lyrics perfectly, as that is apparently in an unaffected part of memory. A recent study involved Alzheimer's patients being given iPods pre-loaded with their favorite music (according to family members and caregivers). The subjects of the study could play the music for hours, if they wished, and the results were nothing short of astounding. If this subject interests you, follow this story as presented in April on NPR at this link www.npr.org/2012/04/18/150891711/for-elders-with-dementia-music-sparks-great-awakenings I also recommend Dr. Oliver Sacks' book, Musicophilia, for a wonderful look at the power of music and our brain. Check out his website at www.oliversacks.com/books/musicophilia Sometimes, our tools as caregivers are all around us, simply waiting for us to recognize their power and healing properties. Experiment with your loved one, based on past experience, and fine tune your observations of their responses. You may find a treasure trove of ways to stay connected more deeply and beyond words. 5/2/2012 Computers & ExerciseI just read an interesting article about a research study done by the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, which is featured on the research page of this blog. The study concludes that computer use in combination with exercise had a significant and positive result in helping preserve the memory of participants, aged 70 - 93. Though I don't fall into that age group yet, I was encouraged that I've at least got half of that right -- betcha can't guess which half.
It was interesting to me in that I have never seen those particular two aspects studied together. Brain stimulation has long been touted as helping neuroplasticity (which is pretty much what you'd imagine -- keeping your neural pathways working keeps them more flexible). But it's gratifying to baby boomers everywhere who spend lots of time at a computer keyboard, that this can also be helping to keep your brain active and your memory intact. Now we just have to remember to get up from the computer, stretch, breathe deeply and take a brisk walk every couple of hours. At least it's hopeful news. I'm inspired and I hope you are, too! I really love it when something I enjoy actually turns out to be good for me, don't you? Like dark chocolate as an antioxidant. Ahh, yes. But that probably deserves a post unto itself. |
About Karen
Karen is a compassionate, enthusiastic student of life, who cared for her mother for 17 years. She brings her insights, compassion, experience and desire to share knowledge and healing to this ongoing conversation with others on the caregiving path. If you are caring for a parent, spouse, friend or other loved one this site offers sanity-saving tips, open-hearted self-care ideas, and an open forum for discussion, connection and sharing resources for the journey. Archives
October 2021
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