8/2/2012 The Gift of Now"There exists only the present instant, a Now which always and without end is itself new. There is no yesterday nor any tomorrow, but only Now, as it was a thousand years ago and as it will be a thousand years hence."
~Meister Eckhart As caregivers, we are called on to become a sort of human interface between the recipient of our care and the larger world. We do this in so many ways, some intuitive and relatively easy, others incredibly difficult. We are often the keeper of finances, of medical records, dispenser of medications, the nurse, the liaison with doctors, the housekeeper, the personal shopper, the chef, the confidante. We, in essence become the eyes, ears, hands & heart of our loved one -- protecting them from harm in every way possible and taking up their cause when they are not able. In a sense, that is what makes it so wrenching when our loved one cannot be "cured", as is the case in Alzheimer's Disease. Often, I think we feel a sense of failure as caregivers (daughters, sons, spouses) that we aren't able to somehow miraculously save them from the fate of the illness. But, even in the midst of such feelings of helplessness, we can find the greatest of gifts: the power of living in the present moment. If you could boil down all of life's peaks and valleys and distill its very core into one simple sentiment, it is finding value and joy in the present moment. This was the precious gift I received daily from my mother. In her world, there was nothing but the present moment -- and she never lost her childlike joy in discovering and savoring it. Whether she was opening a greeting card and admiring it (for the first or the fiftieth time), petting her cat, eating a bowl of ice cream or watching a sunset, she experienced true delight in that moment. And I did, also, in witnessing the beauty of her response. If I spread a nice-smelling lavender lotion on her skin, her palpable enjoyment was uplifting because it was so simple and honest. She became alive to her senses with a focus on "now" that was amazing. What if we could all live our lives in this direct, worry-free way? How would it change us? Change the world? If you are in the midst of your caregiving role, I urge you to take a step back from the "have-to- dos", the "shoulds", the anxiety over possible future problems (which most times never actually happen), and be totally in the moment with your loved one -- feeling the rich reward of a heart full of love, sharing a simple pleasure and making this moment good. Cherish the gift. It is a life-transforming and life-affirming one! How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Of course, there is no answer to that philosophical question. But, if you ask how many caregivers are dancing the complicated, unchoreographed dance of the challenges of caregiving, the answer is, by current consensus over 65 million. That is 65 million unpaid, family caregivers in the U.S. alone. To wrap your mind around that, it means that roughly one third of Americans are caregivers! One in three people in the U.S. are performing some duties to care for an elder or disabled person!
And I read an even more astounding projection for new cases of Alzheimer's internationally for the next 40 years (source: The Journal of Alzheimer's Disease) -- there will be an almost unimaginable, 115 million new cases of Alzheimer's-type dementia by 2050. This projection doesn't just boggle the mind, it makes it run away screaming in denial! However, on a more positive note, there was a recent article synopsis in Science Daily, titled: Link Between Brain Insulin Resistance, Neuronal Stress in Worsening Alzheimer's Disease in which the authors of the study found some promising research on insulin resistance (diabetes) in the brain, which interferes with neuronal pathways. In essence, they are postulating that Alzheimer's is basically a metabolic syndrome, even going so far as to call it Type III Diabetes -- and that just makes sense to me. The more reading I do, the more apparent (to me) it becomes that it's all interconnected. Picture a giant, multi-headed underwater monster popping above the surface in different places so it appears to be separate, yet just beneath the surface, it is one. So (this is my own opinion, not the study) the obesity crisis, diabetes (insulin resistance), metabolic syndrome, inflammation and Alzheimer's may be different faces of one disease. If the monster only has one heart and it can be targeted, it stands to reason that would make it easier to defeat. This strengthens my own resolve to continue to explore and share information & self care techniques to help the caregiver slay the dragon of disease. If, after further detailed neurological research, it turns out that all these are indeed aspects of one multi-faceted illness -- essentially a result of being out of balance, then it actually provides even more reason to use the tools that promote optimal wellness in our lives -- and ultimately, finding our balance in mind, body & spirit may be the healing, holistic approach that will provide keys to an eventual cure. I certainly find it hopeful in that it empowers us in our own healing process. That's good news that can perhaps make the alarming statistics fade away, replaced by a healthier, brighter future with far fewer dancing the caregiver dance. |
About Karen
Karen is a compassionate, enthusiastic student of life, who cared for her mother for 17 years. She brings her insights, compassion, experience and desire to share knowledge and healing to this ongoing conversation with others on the caregiving path. If you are caring for a parent, spouse, friend or other loved one this site offers sanity-saving tips, open-hearted self-care ideas, and an open forum for discussion, connection and sharing resources for the journey. Archives
October 2021
CategoriesAll Acceptance Aging Together Alan Cohen Alive Inside Movie Alzheimer's Alzheimer's Prevention A Mind Of Your Own Anxiety Aromatherapy Audio Therapy For PTSD Austin Air Hepa Filter Autism Back Care Video Beginner's Mind Being Present Blessing For Caregivers Books Brain Insulin Butterfly Story Calm Calm.com App Care For Veterans Caregiver Advocate Caregiver Coalition Caregiver Comfort Kit Caregiver Guilt Caregiver Retreat Caregiver's Serenity Prayer Caregiver Stress Caregiver Support Care Giving Caregiving Vulnerability Care In Hospital Caterpillar Into Butterflies Chamomile Tea Cindy Laverty Comedian Computers & Exercise Crisis Dan Cohen Deepak Chopra Delirium Depression Diabetes Disaster Preparedness Distractions Dr. Dharma Singh Khalsa Dr. Oliver Sacks Eden Alternative Eldershire Elizabeth Dole Foundation Emergency Planning Emergency Preparation Emerson End Of Caregiving Enough Already Escapism Essential Oils Food Safety Forgiveness Funny Stories Gaiam.com Gail Sheehy Gift Of Alzheimer Gift Of Healing Presence GMO Food Green House Project Gregory Fricchione Md Grief Guilt Happy Light Healing Holding Hands Home As Sanctuary Hope Hospital Caregiving Hospital Stay Humor Inspirational Reading Ipods For Nursing Homes Isolation Jacksonville James E. Miller John Denver Johns Hopkins Study John T. McFadden Jon Kabat-Zinn Kelly Brogan Kirtan Kriya Meditation Lao Tzu Laugh Laughter Lavender Loneliness Loss Of Purpose Love Love In The Nursing Home Maya Angelou Mayo Clinic Mayo Clinic Alzheimer's Blog MD Meditation Meditation Garden Melatonin Memory Memory Cafe Military Caregiver Mindfulness Meditation Mr. Bean Music Music & Alzheimer Music And Memory Neurological Research Noise Pollution Operation Family Caregiver Opportunity Overnight Respite Care Pandemic Passages In Caregiving Patience Paul Coelho Peace Post-traumatic Stress Disorder Power Of Love Prayer PTSD Quality Of Sleep Radical Contentment Relaxation Releasing Problems Renewal Research Respite Rewind Rodney Yee Rosalynn Carter Rosalynn Carter Institute For Caregiving Rowan Atkinson Sanctuary Sanity Self Care Serenity Silence Sleep Slowing Time Solutions Soothing Music Stress Stress Relief Sun Sunshine Support For Caregivers Tai Chi Thanksgiving The Care Company The Kiss Time Traumatic Brain Injury Travel With Alzheimer's Person Treat VA Caregivers Valentine's Day Verilux Veteran Farms Veterans Veteran Suicide Vitamin D Wayne W. Dyer Wellness Wendell Berry White Noise William H. Thomas Worry Yoga Yoga Video |
Caregiver Wellness
Popular pages on this site:
|
Self-Care Practices
Explore what works for you:
|
Original content © 2012-2023 Karen Bonnell all rights reserved