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If you have a few moments and want to be uplifted and inspired by some incredibly beautiful visual art by Louie Schwartzberg, I invite you to view this favorite. It's pure magic by a very talented artist!
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"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." ~Kahlil Gibran
Caregiver's Self-Care Comfort Kit
Caregivers are, by their very definition giving people. They do give of themselves, sometimes for many years, faithfully supporting their care-receiver. It turns out that most caregiving roles are more a marathon than a short sprint, so one has to be prepared with the strength and stamina to continue. Quite often caregivers find themselves battling their own chronic stress, burnout, depression, health problems, relationship challenges, and other negatives to quality of life. It is, therefore, of the utmost importance to find ways to reduce the stress, relax, disengage for a time of respite and renewal. I've spoken of this many times in the past, even giving recommendations to create a Caregiver Comfort Drawer for those emergencies when you need a little extra TLC.
However, previously, I didn't include specifics or a photo of the kinds of things I was recommending, and a photo is, as the saying goes, worth a thousand words. So, today, I am giving you a glimpse into my own self-care comfort kit, a photo tour, and a list of the types of things I included that worked for me. I realized, especially toward the end of my mother's life, that this comfort kit needed to be mobile, rather than in a drawer at home. That way, my visits to Mom could include pampering for us both.
I hope you will find the suggestions helpful and that some of them will resonate with you. Please do find something to help you deal with the stress levels. It is not being self-indulgent to do so -- it may save your sanity, and perhaps even your very life!
Here is a list of items my comfort kit contains, by category:
However, previously, I didn't include specifics or a photo of the kinds of things I was recommending, and a photo is, as the saying goes, worth a thousand words. So, today, I am giving you a glimpse into my own self-care comfort kit, a photo tour, and a list of the types of things I included that worked for me. I realized, especially toward the end of my mother's life, that this comfort kit needed to be mobile, rather than in a drawer at home. That way, my visits to Mom could include pampering for us both.
I hope you will find the suggestions helpful and that some of them will resonate with you. Please do find something to help you deal with the stress levels. It is not being self-indulgent to do so -- it may save your sanity, and perhaps even your very life!
Here is a list of items my comfort kit contains, by category:
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Aromatherapy:
Oil Lady Aromatherapy Good Medicine Tin, which includes 5 essential oils, pure organic jojoba to blend them, a lavender mist bottle, and instructions on how to use them in various ways, such as in a diffuser, in the shower/bath, in self-massage, hand massage, etc. These are simply wonderful in all kinds of situations, to calm & balance oneself and reduce stress. I give them my highest recommendation. They also sell a Sweet Sleep Kit with the lavender mist, and lavender oil, along with natural tranquilizer oil, which is great for those nights when sleep eludes you or your care-receiver. I also have a diffuser in my kit. Mine uses tea light candles, so must be attended at all times, but there are electric ones as well which can be set to low temperatures. In addition to the above, I also included Stimulator Oil and Balancer Oil blends from Oil Lady. I love them for myself and my Mom. Aura Cacia makes two great body creams that have become favorites -- Lavender and Patchouli/Orange are now my standards for moisturizing and make a pleasant bedtime ritual. And, I use some of their bath products when I want a special, relaxing treat. For more aromatherapy suggestions, visit my page: Aromatherapy |
Books & Music:
For relaxation, I use a guided meditation called Gateway to Peace by Max Highstein. It is soothing music and words which takes you on a 12 minute journey of renewal. Great stress reducer! I also use Jon Kabat-Zinn's CD, Mindfulness for Beginners to learn mindfulness meditation. And, as a companion to that, the book Everything is Your Teacher, based on Kabat-Zinn's book, Full Catastrophe Living, offers great insights. I love Wayne Dyer's book Being in Balance which is quite helpful, and can be read in small increments if time is in short supply. There are many other books and recordings, and I find it most functional to put the music and meditations on an iPod for easy use and storage of a bunch of favorites. I bought an iHome speaker dock for it, which is rechargeable and has its own case for easy portability. That way, others, such as your care-receiver, can listen to, if you wish. I cannot emphasize to you enough the amazing power that music has to affect your mood and sense of well-being. It is a wonderful tool, for both you and your loved one, so please do make use of it in the ways you find most healing and helpful. |
Other items:
A small journal/Gratitude journal Stationary and envelopes Colored pens, pencils, sketch pad Healthy snacks and not-so-healthy emergency chocolate (dark, of course, so I don't feel quite so guilty) You can get very creative with your comfort kit -- after all it is for YOU, so whatever speaks to your heart and soothes your soul is perfectly valid. I also advise using humor wherever possible and in whatever form you can find. It really will help keep life on the lighter side to have some laughter) 
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Self Care Tips & Techniques
Self care for the caregiver is vitally important, since it can help to keep a caregiver strong and in balance while providing the care necessary for their loved one. This self-care can take many forms, but the simple act of nurturing yourself, providing little "treats" for an emotional, mental health boost, finding quiet moments of pre-planned respite when you feel your composure crumbling, reminders of all the ways that life is good and concentrating on that goodness in a tangible way, centering yourself through prayer, meditation, relaxation -- these are basically what self-care is about.
1) Create a Comfort Drawer - I would recommend to all caregivers that you create a "comfort drawer" or basket for yourself, containing items that bring you calm, comfort, and simple pleasure. The types of items to include will vary widely depending on individual tastes, but here are some ideas: aromatherapy lotion or body creme (a lavender scent is very calming and balancing for most folks, or perhaps orange is right for you), a little book of inspirational quotes or daily meditations, bath salts or oils, calming tea such as chamomile, green tea, or mint. You can also put in some comfort food (think emergency chocolate, here!) but try to stay with healthy, life affirming things as much as possible. You can really have fun with this idea and get as wild and crazy as you want. You can even wrap some items up so that you surprise yourself when you open the drawer or basket for comfort. It's your comfort, so only you can really decide what belongs in this sacred spot. The point is to make some effort to give yourself support and nurturing, available easily and when you need it. Sometimes, just the act of creating of such a secret cache of comfort starts the pleasure rolling. Remind yourself that you are enough. You deserve good things that bring pleasure. Caring for yourself in this way enriches not only your own life, but that of your loved one and all those around you. Create an oasis of comfort today, so that it is waiting for you the next time you need some extra tender loving care.
For more suggestions, check out my favorite products in my Caregiver Resource store by clicking here. (Then click on the category Self Care Products on the right.)
For more suggestions, check out my favorite products in my Caregiver Resource store by clicking here. (Then click on the category Self Care Products on the right.)
2) Meditate to reduce stress - This is one of the easiest, cheapest and most sure ways to help yourself as you give care to another. There are many techniques, but current research indicates the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (made famous by Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD) is the most effective at reducing stress. You might also enjoy using a guided meditation/relaxation CD, such as Gateway to Peace, or The Healing Waterfall or choose from many others. This is a great way to "detach" yourself from the demands on you, consciously relax and let yourself renew your body/mind. The benefits are tremendous and the time invested very minimal. It's well worth finding a practice that suits you. You will feel the results immediately. This type of meditation also helps with hypertension issues, which tend to be a problem for many caregivers.
3) Create a sanctuary in your home or yard - Everyone needs a place to reflect and just sit in quiet, peaceful "being-ness" -- but caregivers in particular must set aside space and time for this, either in your home or in an outdoor setting in your back yard. It doesn't have to be grand or fancy, but it needs to be readily available whenever you need it and it should be soothing and instantly bring you to a place of peacefulness. Here are some ideas for creating a meditation garden - Find a little place in your yard where you can be in solitude -- you can screen it using plants (scented herbs & flowers work beautifully for this), a room divider, a fence (or bamboo or reed fencing that you buy in 6' lengths) or even a cloth draped over a rope. If you want to get fancy, you can make a mini-meditation garden with fountain, statues, a bench, etc. but it's not necessary to go overboard. What you are after is a small space where you can just go and sit -- apart from any outer distractions. Make it comfy with a bench or chair & cushions, or blanket on the ground. You can add a water fountain if you'd like that sound. Your objective is to make a peaceful place just for you.
If the backyard doesn't work for some reason, you can create an escape "spa experience" in your own bathroom. Close the door, run a bath, add lavender or other essential oil for relaxing scent, or bubbles, light a candle and sink into oblivion and lovely relaxation. The whole idea is that you control the distractions, even if only for a brief time. These mini-respites from your daily care can save your sanity. Trust me on this. I know.
If the backyard doesn't work for some reason, you can create an escape "spa experience" in your own bathroom. Close the door, run a bath, add lavender or other essential oil for relaxing scent, or bubbles, light a candle and sink into oblivion and lovely relaxation. The whole idea is that you control the distractions, even if only for a brief time. These mini-respites from your daily care can save your sanity. Trust me on this. I know.
4) Get Outside and MOVE! - Exercise is crucial to keep yourself healthy and I believe nature is a wonderful healer. Combine the two! Take a daily walk (weather permitting) and get your body moving. Appreciate the beauty of the natural world and let it work its magic on your soul. If you live close to a beach or park, make regular use of it. If you don't have coverage for your loved one so that you can do this in solitude, and if they are healthy enough, bring them along! My Mom absolutely loved to go take a walk on the boardwalk at the beach. Whatever you have to do to fit this activity into you life -- DO IT! You need it to stay in balance.
