Caregiver Wellness Lifeline
  • Home
    • Aromatherapy
    • Books & Music
    • Gratitude & Journaling
    • Meditate & Relax
    • Self Care Ideas
    • Yoga & Tai Chi
  • About
  • Wellness Blog
  • Research & Resources
    • Links to Online Resources
  • Caregiver Support
    • Alzheimer's Caregivers
    • Caring for a Veteran
    • Serenity Prayer for Caregivers
  • Sanity Savers
  • Home
    • Aromatherapy
    • Books & Music
    • Gratitude & Journaling
    • Meditate & Relax
    • Self Care Ideas
    • Yoga & Tai Chi
  • About
  • Wellness Blog
  • Research & Resources
    • Links to Online Resources
  • Caregiver Support
    • Alzheimer's Caregivers
    • Caring for a Veteran
    • Serenity Prayer for Caregivers
  • Sanity Savers
Search by typing & pressing enter

YOUR CART

4/19/2012

Caregiver Stress, Caregiver Bliss

When I was in the midst of stressful times in caring for my Mom, I often thought about the various things that were at my disposal to help relieve feelings of overwhelm, sadness, uncertainty, things spinning out of control (in a figurative sense) and exhaustion from lack of sleep.  There were many tools available, since I was already a student of yoga and meditation, learned Tai Chi, had been a musician most of my life specialized in quiet, relaxation music and breath work techniques and read widely from many excellent authors who taught stress relief techniques.  However, the operative word is that I thought about them -- I didn't actually use them.  Big difference!  Looking back on how bad I felt, this is a mystifying thing to me -- almost as if I deliberately sabotaged myself by ignoring the things I knew would be most helpful & healing.  My excuse was (valid, or at least it seemed so to me at the time) that I was too tired and lacked the energy to do these things, but I knew in the depths of my being that these practices would alleviate the negative feelings and both calm and energize me.  Yet I still didn't apply my knowledge.  Even when I heard from others how vitally important it is to keep yourself well, balanced, healthy, whole.  I still crashed and burned out.  I'm wondering how many others are feeling the same way?  What would be the catalyst that would set you in motion toward better self care?  Would words alone do it?  An intervention by a friend or family member?  A heart attack or other serious health challenge? 
Today I was shocked to read in one of the online Care newsletters about caregivers who actually reached a breaking point and snapped, killing either their loved one and/or themselves.  The tragedy and pain of that prompted a very deep, visceral response in me, along with the strong desire to reach out to help anyone in that desperate, frightening place on the edge of reason.   While I am not a professional psychologist, nor do I have any credentials in that area, I do have good instincts, a great deal of caregiving experience and a compassionate nature with a desire to help others going through the same long, confusing journey.  
If you find yourself just needing a sympathic "ear", a bit of direction in finding access to the help you need or know of someone else struggling with issues surrounding care of their loved one, please get in touch or give them contact information for this site so that they can begin to connect to the help and resources they need.  There is so very much information on the internet that it can be overwhelming, not to mention extremely time consuming to find it and evaluate it.  That's one reason I created this blog and website -- as a service to help identify and define the best resources, cull out the time wasters, and direct others to new resources and information thereby saving them time and frustration in the process.
 
Marianne Troy link
4/24/2012 11:32:06 pm

Such a beautiful website & practical information Karen. Thank you, thank, thank you!!!!!!
How does one bridge that gap of "knowing" to "doing" especially as regards self care?
Is surrender to "what is" and "acceptance" of our roles and the disease process an integral first step?
Is it an agreement with other family members/friends that a respite every 6 weeks, at the least, is necessary for us to carry on? And then it would be "acceptable" for us to think about ourselves.
I really want to get all the help I can in order to help our caregivers to personalize their need for self care.
Your site feels right & a beautiful step on the path!!!
Blessings and again, thank you!!!! Marianne

Karen
4/25/2012 09:48:29 pm

Thanks, Marianne, for your excellent comment, insightful questions and for continuing the conversation. I am seeking to answer the very questions you raise about shifting from knowing you "should" do self care, to actually giving yourself permission to do it. And from my own experience, I can say that acceptance of the situation, once beyond the denial phase, was not enough, at least for me. Nor, was there any reliable way to guarantee a respite every six weeks or even every year! Oddly, I found that respite renewed and refreshed me, but it didn't last because I was not able to sustain the benefits by bolstering it through daily self care support. A week or so after being back in the saddle, I pretty much felt as if I'd never had the break! I believe we have to shift the conversation to our cultural expectations of the caregiver, and the taboos we have placed, by making it "selfish" to take care of your own health! It's pretty crazy thinking and if it continues, we are going to have literally millions of sick, exhausted, burned out people as the baby boom generation moves from being caregivers to needing them. It speaks to our broken health care system, as well, that people are rewarded for illness that they expect a doctor to "fix", rather than being responsible for their own wellness and healthy, sustainable living!
Thank YOU for all you do to support, assist, advise and empower the caregivers through your organization. It's such a vital and necessary job, and you do it with grace and dedication beyond measure!


Comments are closed.
    Online Resources
    Picture

    About Karen

    Karen is a compassionate, enthusiastic student of life, who cared for her mother for 17 years. She brings her insights, compassion, experience and desire to share knowledge and healing to this ongoing conversation with others on the caregiving path. If you are caring for a parent, spouse, friend or other loved one this site offers sanity-saving tips, open-hearted self-care ideas, and an open forum for discussion, connection and sharing resources for the journey.

    Caregiver's Serenity Prayer

    Archives

    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    April 2019
    February 2018
    August 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    September 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    October 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    February 2014
    December 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All Acceptance Aging Together Alan Cohen Alive Inside Movie Alzheimer's Alzheimer's Prevention A Mind Of Your Own Anxiety Aromatherapy Audio Therapy For PTSD Austin Air Hepa Filter Autism Back Care Video Beginner's Mind Being Present Blessing For Caregivers Books Brain Insulin Butterfly Story Calm Calm.com App Care For Veterans Caregiver Advocate Caregiver Coalition Caregiver Comfort Kit Caregiver Guilt Caregiver Retreat Caregiver's Serenity Prayer Caregiver Stress Caregiver Support Care Giving Caregiving Vulnerability Care In Hospital Caterpillar Into Butterflies Chamomile Tea Cindy Laverty Comedian Computers & Exercise Crisis Dan Cohen Deepak Chopra Delirium Depression Diabetes Disaster Preparedness Distractions Dr. Dharma Singh Khalsa Dr. Oliver Sacks Eden Alternative Eldershire Elizabeth Dole Foundation Emergency Planning Emergency Preparation Emerson End Of Caregiving Enough Already Escapism Essential Oils Food Safety Forgiveness Funny Stories Gaiam.com Gail Sheehy Gift Of Alzheimer Gift Of Healing Presence GMO Food Green House Project Gregory Fricchione Md Grief Guilt Happy Light Healing Holding Hands Home As Sanctuary Hope Hospital Caregiving Hospital Stay Humor Inspirational Reading Ipods For Nursing Homes Isolation Jacksonville James E. Miller John Denver Johns Hopkins Study John T. McFadden Jon Kabat-Zinn Kelly Brogan Kirtan Kriya Meditation Lao Tzu Laugh Laughter Lavender Loneliness Loss Of Purpose Love Love In The Nursing Home Maya Angelou Mayo Clinic Mayo Clinic Alzheimer's Blog MD Meditation Meditation Garden Melatonin Memory Memory Cafe Military Caregiver Mindfulness Meditation Mr. Bean Music Music & Alzheimer Music And Memory Neurological Research Noise Pollution Operation Family Caregiver Opportunity Overnight Respite Care Pandemic Passages In Caregiving Patience Paul Coelho Peace Post-traumatic Stress Disorder Power Of Love Prayer PTSD Quality Of Sleep Radical Contentment Relaxation Releasing Problems Renewal Research Respite Rewind Rodney Yee Rosalynn Carter Rosalynn Carter Institute For Caregiving Rowan Atkinson Sanctuary Sanity Self Care Serenity Silence Sleep Slowing Time Solutions Soothing Music Stress Stress Relief Sun Sunshine Support For Caregivers Tai Chi Thanksgiving The Care Company The Kiss Time Traumatic Brain Injury Travel With Alzheimer's Person Treat VA Caregivers Valentine's Day Verilux Veteran Farms Veterans Veteran Suicide Vitamin D Wayne W. Dyer Wellness Wendell Berry White Noise William H. Thomas Worry Yoga Yoga Video

Caregiver Wellness

Popular pages on this site:
Self-Care
Wellness Blog
serenity prayer

Self-Care Practices

Explore what  works for you:
Aromatherapy
Books & music
meditation & imagery
yoga & tai chi
Picture
Original content © 2012-2023 Karen Bonnell all rights reserved
Photos used under Creative Commons from Beverly & Pack, ☺ Lee J Haywood, kev-shine, B4bees, MPD01605, limaoscarjuliet, Thirteen Of Clubs, Darren Shilson, erix!