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I just came across a gem of an article in AgingCare.com, titled: What's OK and What's Not OK When You Are a Caregiver by Cindy Laverty of The Care Company. The truth in this article resounded strongly with my own experience as a caregiver in that for some reason, especially for daughters who are caring for aging parents, we need permission to ask for help. Somehow, our work ethic or perfectionism or some crazy thing prevents us from realizing that it is not only OK to ask for help -- it is absolutely essential to our well being and that of our loved one! This article clearly outlines what is OK, and gives vital permission to handle your own personal care and needs while caring for another's. It also defines what is NOT OK if you are to keep your health and balance through the caregiving journey.
If there is one message that I want to bring to you through this blog, above all others, it is that you are doing your best and perfection is not only NOT required, but can be actively damaging to your own mental health. Get rid of it -- banish it from your mind and heart, and know that the love & compassion and human-ness that you bring to your loved one is enough and IS perfect. You don't have to be! Cindy Laverty also hosts a radio show www.thecindylavertyshow.com and is on facebook, both as Cindy Laverty and The Care Company. There is a wonderful video of her philosophy on facebook if you want some encouragement and inspiration. Check it out. You can get there easily from her The Care Company website.
Karen is a compassionate, enthusiastic student of life, who cared for her mother for 17 years. She brings her insights, compassion, experience and desire to share knowledge and healing to this ongoing conversation with others on the caregiving path. If you are caring for a parent, spouse, friend or other loved one this site offers sanity-saving tips, open-hearted self-care ideas, and an open forum for discussion, connection and sharing resources for the journey.
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